Thursday, May 3, 2007

You moms wears combat boots...

The coolest thing aboot wearing sunglasses is the look that you are constantly recovering from the night before, especially if you go with a little stubble. Yes, this is what I'm thinking aboot when I should be working.

Guys don't agree on much. We'll argue for hours upon hours on some of the vital issues of the day like who's the best Quarterback, which is the best beer, and who is the hotter Jessica - Biel or Alba? But if there's one thing we can all come together on, it's a mutual admiration of the Three Stooges. They're like our Oprah.

Tonight the GOP has their turn to hold a joint press conference, and I'm actually looking forward to it. McCain and Rudy facing off should be interesting. I'd like to see Mike Huckabee play the "Bill Richardson role" where he answers any questions he feels like since, unfortunately, this is one of his only chances to be on television. But most importantly, I love the fact that the entire thing was Nancy Reagan's idea. FOX News was supposed to have the first "official" debate next week, but the former first lady decided to open the doors to the Ronald Reagan Library and say, "if you want to lay claim to my husband's legacy, come bring it!" I'm sure she'd word it much more eloquently, but you know that's what she's thinking.

I've got a perfect plan to have you in my arms today. You are so well endowed, and there's no price I won't pay. This dream is eating me alive. Can't you see I'm burning up inside? I pray I will not be denied. You better hold on tight. I'm gonna love you nice. I'm gonna do it right. Let me light a fire in you tonight.

Admittedly, I don't know much about boxing. I prefer combat sports to be...what's the word I'm looking for...oh, I prefer them to be entertaining. But if there's one thing I've learned about boxing as of late, it's that I really don't like Floyd Meriwether Jr. One reason is because he's been talking too much of the smack lately aboot the UFC, but it's mainly because I hate people who feel the need to act everytime they know there's a camera around. I get it - you're the greatest, you have more money than me - what do you want, a cookie?

Speaking of combat sports, or "combat" sports, wrestling is starting to get slightly more enjoyable. CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke is promising, and I like what they're doing with Mr. Kennedy. Unfortunately, the WWE is a lot like marriage. You may be enjoying something now, but you know it's only a matter of time before she takes all the fun away, so what's the point? Psst...the "she" in this analogy is Stephanie McMahon (head of the "creative" team).

I'm fascinated by polls, like where x percent of people feel a certain way aboot a certain issue. Here's why, and let's take the war as an example. Pollsters will ask a question like, "what do you think aboot the war?" What I wonder is how would the result look if they ask a second question, "would you have even thought about the war today if I didn't just ask you aboot it?"

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